wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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