but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
