margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize