Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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