Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
