I need help removing her.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
