hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
