don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
