The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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