And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
