Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
