i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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