Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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