ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
