You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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