I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
