but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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