I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
