if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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