I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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