smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
