it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
