please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize