Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
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I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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