party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
