Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
