I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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