so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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