I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize