I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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