please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
