Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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