please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
