I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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