sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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