He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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