96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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