WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
