yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.