Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..