Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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