How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize