i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
