There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
