Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
