she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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