i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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