Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
