Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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