South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
