I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
