My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
