My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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