Ketchup is God's man juice
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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