he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize