it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
