I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
