How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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